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The Ghosts Haunting Your Team

How to find the ghost rules hiding in permissions, accountability, candor, and tact, and how to break them.

In the fall of 2006, Ford was headed toward one of the largest annual losses in American corporate history. Every Thursday, the new CEO, Alan Mulally, sat with his senior leaders while they reported on their part of the business as green, yellow or red. Week after week, every chart came back green. Meanwhile, the company was losing billions.

No one had ever written a policy that said you will never show a red card in front of the CEO. No one had to. Every executive in that room had watched what happened to people who brought bad news upstairs. The rule was simple: red ends careers.

That’s a ghost rule. It’s an unwritten expectation that your team believes is real and obeys as if it were policy, even though no one ever stated it, and no one would defend it if you asked. Ghost rules are learned by watching. Someone gets embarrassed in a meeting, someone gets passed over, someone gets a cold response from the boss, and the team quietly writes a new rule in its collective head.

If you make things for a living, some of the ghosts are steering your own work. Pay attention to the moments you hold back an idea until you have airtight data, or wait for permission to try a new approach before the old one has officially failed. Ask whether anyone ever drew that boundary, or whether you learned it from one bad moment years ago. Then test it.

If you lead a team, your people are following rules right now that you never wrote. Watch where decisions pile up on your desk that you never intended to make. Notice whether the real discussion happens in the room or in the hallway afterward. And remember that the email you send at 11 at night is heard as an expectation, no matter how many times you tell people not to worry about responding.

Some of these rules are slowing you down. Some of them are hiding the truth from you. The only way to find them is to go looking.

Your team will always believe what you do over what you say.

Todd Henry, Daily Creative E129

On episode 129 of Daily Creative, I walk through the four places ghost rules tend to hide on a team and how to find them. Here’s the short version of the action guide. Pick one thing to try this week.

Daily Creative  |  Action Plan  |  E129

Where the ghosts hide

Three of the four areas from the guide, with one action each. The full version has twelve practices, four reflection questions, three discussion questions and an action plan you can fill in.

Listen to the episode

01

Permissions

Every unnecessary request for permission is a clue.

Ghost rules about what people believe they’re allowed to do without asking. Many were left behind by one moment, years ago, when someone overstepped and got burned.

Try thisRetire each false boundary you find at the next team meeting, in front of everyone, not one person at a time.
03

Candor

Treat bad news as a gift, because it is.

Ghost rules about how truth gets told. Each one feels reasonable and quietly filters the truth before it reaches you. This is where Ford’s ghost lived.

Try thisThank the next person who brings an inconvenient truth, in front of the team, before you respond to it.
04

Tact

Your habits become the team’s norms.

Ghost rules about how people treat one another. They aren’t policy, but they shape who feels safe, who feels valued and who decides to stay.

Try thisSchedule any message you write after hours to send the next morning.

The underlying idea

Applaud the first red

Ghosts don’t disappear because you declare them gone. They disappear when someone tests them and survives. The only way to find them is to go looking, and the only way to break them is to applaud the first person brave enough to show red.

Download the full Action Plan (PDF)

Think back to that Thursday morning at Ford. The ghost rule said that red ends careers. Mark Fields tested it, Alan Mulally applauded, and that single moment did more to change the culture than any memo ever could, because it proved the rule everyone feared had never been real.

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